politics

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I’m typing this on a radio keyboard and I’m cynical as hell because my back’s on fire, and somewhat (read: quite a bit, lol) off my tits on painkillers. With that caveat in mind:

No confidential service should ever provide information publicly that could lead to the identification of its users. Regardless of intentions. I’m sure there are reasonable exceptions and that’s a whole other debate, which is beyond the scope of my current pained keyboard jizz. The recent National Bullying Helpline media ruckus, via its head, Christine Pratt, was started by, essentially, a breach of confidentiality. I won’t recap the affair, I’m sure, unless you’ve given up news, you’re aware of the background.

I don’t think Christine Pratt should be subject to vilification beyond a breach of confidentiality. I don’t think there is much of a story. It was reported, initially, with very few journalists even attempting The Five Ws. The headline should have been “Charity head relates anecdote which may or may not relate to Gordon Brown”.

Gordon Brown could be a massive toss pot, and I’m really not a fan, and wouldn’t vote for him, but in this internets age are anecdotes enough? Is that what constitutes news?

I really can’t attribute any specific blame to journalists, politicians, or people who consume news, but there’s bigger things to address. Like the economy, particularly, the thing that will constrain whichever government is elected. Or minor distractions (at least to me, I’m really not interested in photographing towns and cities, or people – they’re annoying) like photographers being subject to hassle from police under anti-terrorism powers (link via @glinner). Or retarded UK libel laws.

I could segue into some kind of righteous list of stuff that’s more important than anecdotes, but, I don’t know about a lot of things, and, as I have done in the past, would be falling into the trap of talking about complicated things in a simplistic, and somewhat biased way. As is the internets wont.

It could be argued that anecdotes about one of the people in charge of our country are important, that the character of a politician is something we are right to want to know about. Given their personality informs their decisions. My problem with that is that there are a minority of people who are both talented, and arseholes, so judging on personality alone isn’t enough, and can distract from real issues, like the economy, or the police wasting their time with photographers and the like, or other complicated things.

Nick Clegg, and David Cameron did themselves no favours by joining in.

We need a grown up nuanced debate, and what we’ve got is a circus. Professional trolling. Roll on the election. I’m sure it will be very depressing, and I do hope Jeremy Vine gets out his cowboy suit again. Yee har!

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On the Observer website, front page, to the left (no pun intended), is David Mitchell’s face, along with a sub heading that says “I’ll tell you what really offends me”. It got my blood boiling, a bit, because I was thinking: pray tell, what is this ironic thing you have decided to be upset* about for entertainment purposes. It’s something about his face. Given I’ve decided to be upset about something for entertainment purposes it may as well be his curmudgeonly** face.

But, as is often the case, he actually said something interesting; not that I’m implying that he doesn’t say interesting things, he does. He’s just got one of those faces. The face of an angry village gardener. He’s one of those people who, when they’ve totally lost their rag, and are angrily berating, could only elicit laughter. Evolution is efficient. There must be a reason for it. Other than everyone being accidental occupants of 1 in 100 billion planets, in an ever expanding universe, we’re all going to die eventually, and there is no god.

He’s annoyed with Hazel Blears. For those of you who aren’t in the UK she’s a kind of news troll, who craves attention in a very sad way, and is pulled out of the sack as often as Polly Toynbee, every time her party, New Labour, fucks up. Her intellectual news repertoire can be defined as such:

  • The Tories are worse.
  • I agree with the tabloids, but the Tories are worse.
  • In my constituency people don’t care.
  • We never do anything wrong.
  • I’m a common person just like you, I’ll pretend to be as ignorant.
  • Tora! Tora! Tora!
  • Bloggers are all cynical about politics. (lol)

She’s Polly Toynbee for truly thick people.

Anyway, she had a go at Russell Brand and that knob-end Jonathan Ross, again, by suggesting that they pay a fine the BBC received for that stupid phone call that generated a few headlines. The one with that doddering Manuel bloke (¿¿ qué he hecho yo para merecer esto ??).

Aside from the utter stupidity and bandwagon jumping***, any amount of government expenditure, be it social, or hospitals, or porn, dwarfs in comparison to the government debt generated in the last 9 months. When it comes to this government giving anyone financial advice, or lecturing anyone about waste, or anything of that nature, they are the biggest hypocrites.

I heartily approve of Russell Brand’s Twitter stream, it’s a little bit like his radio show****, without the censorship imposed by a political class that have disappeared up their own arses. It could do with Matt Morgan interjecting occasionally.

And, before I leave you, for some toast, the Tories are a bunch of cocks too. People say that a crippling bad back affects your temperament. They can go fuck themselves.

* Yeah, I know, everything below this point I’m only mildly upset about in real life, and I am actually quite mild and pleasant.
** Thank-you Richard Herring.
*** This blog post could be.  I’m not an impartial judge.
**** If radio wasn’t invented and we had to rely on telegraphs, we’d have something like Twitter.

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On your BBC.  It’s not like there’s anything else going on.  A good use of the license fee.  Everyone is affected by knife-crime.  So let’s wheel out grieving relatives of knife crime victims and ask them what they think should be done nationally.

Sure to be as objective as past media treatments, see 5cc here for selected highlights.

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Recently I had a casual conversation with someone about Simon Amstell’s Never Mind The Buzzcocks, which led to a broader discussion about contemporary comedy. I’m of the opinion that Simon Amstell is very funny, and they were of the opinion that Simon Amstell is nasty and picks on people. It’s indicative of a wide gap between the internet generation (it’s not an age thing – it’s an information thing) and everybody else. I have some opinions on ‘modern’ humour. Just like I possess an anus.

Sex and morality – still a big issue for many, there are a whole generation of people that openly discuss issues that were taboo. In part through things like sex education in schools, in part changing attitudes, and in part because of the internet. There are plenty of subjects that people do not consider shock-worthy. Superficially it seems callous, but in my opinion, honesty does not equal not caring.  Humour based on things that were taboo does not cheapen debate, but signifies willingness to talk openly about issues that were considered in bad taste. It’s the inverse of Victorian double standards. People don’t look the other way. In the previous paragraph I placed modern in quote marks because I believe people like Daniel Defoe, William Hogarth, later Samuel Butler, countless others, did the same thing (some would say they did it better, and the comparison is disproportionate – I agree  – but the point is about precedents). It’s not new.

Take the Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross ruckus – moral decline? In some ways I am glad to live in a country that is still shocked by bad behaviour – the exact opposite of moral decline – on the other-hand I think some of the more vitriolic responses to the Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross ruckus were driven by people who are unwilling to talk about sex because they think it’s immoral outside of marriage, which is a shame, because it happens. It happened in the past too . When people point to things like teenage pregnancy rates in the UK as a sign of moral decline, it’s worth noting that among the industrialised nations Japan, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Sweden, Italy, Spain, Denmark, and France, have far lower rates of teenage pregnancy, with attitudes towards sex that are far more open than ours. A willingness to talk about sex does not equal immorality, any more than Victorians not talking about sex equalled morality. Nor does it equal ‘the answer’ – I won’t pretend that I think an unwillingness to talk about sex is the reason for the UK and America’s high teenage pregnancy rates. I have no doubt at all that it’s more complicated than that, and requires impartial inquiry, free of the shackles of mere opinion such as this.

If people were campaigning against Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross because they invaded the privacy of Georgina Baillie (whom seems reasonable and intelligent) I think they’ve got a fair point – but they weren’t – they were complaining about it been ‘grossly offensive’. Not a gross invasion of privacy, or good old fashioned bad manners, but an issue of taste, decency, and morality. Combined with a general sense of anger towards the BBC.

I don’t know many people on my side of the debate who thinks what Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross did was edgy, or anything other than mildly amusing (at best – many people thought it was rubbish – they can both be far funnier), but the reactions to it exposed a divide and a mutual misunderstanding from both sides. As BBC license fee payers those who found the broadcast offensive were absolutely within their rights to complain. But in the rush for judgement many people feel as if their views were ignored because they were not suitably incensed or represented. I felt quite angry about that at the time, and was as rabid, or worse, than the people I criticised. I was wrong and I regret that. Retrospect is a fine thing. Emotions running high do not lead to a quality debate or bode well for free speech.

Honesty being mistaken for nastiness – Simon Amstell’s humour is based on honesty. His stand up and his presenting. When he is picking on some celebrity he doesn’t do so with anything other than the truth. This is no more apparent when a celebrity on Never Mind The Buzzcocks (available on iPlayer here) says something along the lines of ‘yeah – so what’ and the audience applauds. I think this is a natural Twenty First Century reaction to Twentieth Century celebrity. PR, image making, to an extent the machinery of media production, is no longer transparent to the audience, and people like Simon Amstell are a reaction to that. The divide in the opinions of Never Mind The Buzzcocks viewers after the exit of Mark Lamarr exactly mirrors the cultural divide. One could almost get Hegelian about this sort of thing,

Disability and the use of politically incorrect language in satire – there was a bit of a fuss as a result of Simple Jack in the film Tropic Thunder, over the use of the word retarded. Again, I think many people missed the point; in Tropic Thunder Simple Jack was presented as a film that starred Tugg Speedman as a cognitively impaired lad who could talk to animals. It it was presented as a film that bombed (failed miserably at the box-office). The point was that it bombed because Tugg Speedman played ‘the full retard’ – as Kirk Lazarus, method actor extraordinaire, pointed out. People do not want to see people who are greatly cognitively impaired in films, they prefer people like Rain Man or Forest Gump, idealised, sanitised versions of disability. The film was as much a satire of cinema audiences as movies and actors. Everyone picked up on the use of the word retard and a blacked-up Robert Downey Jr (Kirk Lazarus was a satire of stereotypes in method acting), but not what was spelt out by Kirk Lazarus about movie depictions of the cognitively impaired. People were too busy being offended to notice. Tropic Thunder was a great satire. & Tom Cruise was brilliant in it (click here for a tasty morsel, or even better, buy the DVD).

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My back is killing me but I’ve got to say something.  I’m angry.  This isn’t a matter of left or right.   It isn’t a matter of past bad behaviour by the Tory party. Old things like Official Secrets Act prosecutions for documents leaked in the public interest or industrial action by unions -  wrongs do not justify other wrongsThis is about now. If you don’t defend the rights of people you disagree with ultimately you’re weakening your own position, because, chances are, there are, or will be, people who disagree with you.  Damian Green has been part of a series of embarrassing leaks on government immigration issues.  As an MP it is his job to hold government to account.

In my opinion his leaks have encouraged casual racism, and aided those who have remarketed themselves as an anti-immigration party.  But – regardless of whether I agree with him, I think the police actions, presumable MPSB, were extremely heavy handed, and signify the steady aggregation of laws that could be used to stifle democracy and freedom of speech. From the police arresting teenagers for holding signs with the world ‘cult’ on them, to routinely detaining protesters under anti-terror legislation, to local councils spying on residents because of secret allegations,  to casual photographers being told they can’t photograph freely,  to prohibition of protest within areas that may cause offence to elected officials, to detention without charge, to the constant drip-drip of scare stories telling us how afraid we should be, to identity cards ripe for official abuse and spying, to hassling journalists at protests,  to proposed databases of your web browsing and email history.

FOR EXAMPLE.

At what point do people of all political stripes speak up?  Is it really OK for those who are left leaning to justify this because it’s a Tory?

Apparently Boris Johnson and Michael Martin knew about this before the Home Secretary
.

Amazing…

I’m left leaning/apolitical/probably a wimpy lib-dem voter – but I think I’d like to be someone who speaks out rather than stays quiet.  I sodding hate politics; but I keep getting forced into saying something, because, morally speaking, I think it is right to do so.  You’re welcome to deal with your own conscience.

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Put a bet on John McCain.  Not because you think he’ll win, but if the unthinkable happens, at least you’ll be a little better off.

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I love political drama in the UK press because things play out like a soap opera or third-rate thriller. Commentated by people of questionable rationality. Unlike me. If I were in charge of a BBC television channel I would commission a show in which political correspondents commentate on apes. Like A Life of Grime but with apes and Nick Robinson as John Peel. “Hey, if the good ship ape-house were the titanic, and this was a bad metaphor – Julius, alpha chimp, of the political jungle – his body language is telling – he wants to urinate, or stimulate an erection, AND (inhales), the ramifications for the king are spectacular. Look out for ice-bergs! Over to you Sophie”

All apes ever get credit for is fiddling with themselves, lobbing shit at people, picking fleas off each other, and hanging around. I think that is very unfair and my idea for a television programme would solve the issue.

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Sometimes it is necessary to be simplistic.

£400,000,000,000

400 billion pounds is a conservative estimate of UK government money going to help troubled financial institutions.

$690,565,489,736.23

At $1.72641 per pound. The current exchange rate. Roughly $690 billion.

60,943,912

Population of the United Kingdom from the CIA World Factbook (July 2008 estimate).

£6563.41

Price per man, woman, and child, in the UK

$11331.14

Price per man, woman, and child, in the UK at $1.72641.

$700,000,000,000

A figure put forward by the US Federal Reserve in a package to rescue troubled financial organisations.

£405,465,677,330

That figure in the Great British Pound.

303,824,640

Population of the United States of America from the CIA World Factbook (July 2008 estimate).

$2304

Price per man, woman, and child, in the United States.

£1334.54

Price per man, woman, and child in the United States in the Great British Pound.

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I’m no fan of the Labour Party.  I’ve gone into why in the past and won’t bore you.

The present problems with certain UK banks are not the fault of the UK government.  The reasons are quite abstract, but can be summarised by a loss of trust in the US banking system, precipitated by the problems with complex repackaging and selling of debt in the last 9 years.  (It started under Clinton, so it’s not entirely a Bush problem – although the unchecked free market policies of his government have played a large part).  The failure of Northern Rock would not have happened, despite widespread over-lending in the mortgage market, without the backdrop of the so-called ‘credit-crunch’.   UK government policy, and Gordon Brown, are not to blame.

Likewise short sellers are not responsible for the situation.  Short selling has been better explained by the likes of Robert Peston, but it’s essentially borrowing an asset, selling it at market price, buying it back at a lower price, and giving it back to whoever you borrowed it from.  That way you profit from falls in the stock market.  Of course, if the price goes up, you end up losing money.  It’s not risk free – by any means.  Short sellers can only profit when prices are falling.  The only potential abuse is traders breaking the law and spreading false rumours.  That isn’t happening.  Short sellers are an easy scapegoat. Alastair Darling (chancellor of the exchequer), Alex Salmond (Scottish nationalist leader), and Vincent Cable (an irrelevance) have attributed blame to short sellers.   They’re talking out of their arses.

The only thing they’re right in saying is that short sellers make the situation worse.  But they’re a symptom, rather than a cause, despite what politicians say.  This armchair economist is somewhat in favour of some kind of rules to limit short selling in these kinds of situations.  It’ll be difficult to do though because it’s international.   It’s going to get worse before it gets better.

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Promise rings are worn as a symbol of commitment to remain chaste until marriage. A pop band wearing them, and therefore promoting them, is no different from a comedian using them as material. Why? Because in both cases they’re examples of people expressing an opinion about sex. My opinion about promise rings is that they’re often worn and promoted by people who disprove of people who do not live as Christians. Given a chance some would enforce their brand of Christianity on others. Preventing teaching of things like evolution, acting against gay rights, and and anything that contradicts scripture. I am not against people making a choice to live as Christians and follow scripture but I’m against anyone dictating what other people can and can’t say. The unfortunate political baggage that comes with promise rings has made such things hot-button topics of the so-called “culture wars”. The culture wars have caused much self-censorship in the US media.

At the 2008 MTV VMAs Russell Brand mocked the Jonas Brothers, and their vow of chastity. In free societies people can choose to wear promise rings, but in a free society people should be able to mock public figures that wear them, in the same way that Jordin Sparks what free to make the telling comment that “It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.”

Similarly Russell Brand’s political comments were hot-button topics of the culture wars. I think they were funny. Using the word retarded is quite different than making fun of people who are disabled. It walks a fine line because all kinds of words with cultural baggage could be justified along similar lines. Intention is not an excuse in itself. So I’ll elaborate a bit because I think it’s an issue of specificity, context, and current usage. Retardation is one of those horrible medical terms of old that was applied to a whole host of things that would be given clear diagnosis today. It’s not a specific medical condition. The context of joke was about world leaders and potential world leaders – aimed at people in a position of power. The current usage of retarded is not primarily used as a phrase to mock disabled people. That’s a good test of politically incorrect phrases: What’s the specificity? What’s the context? What’s the current usage?

What I find particularly funny is that Russell Brand was trolling – pure and simple. The act ticked every box of the so-called culture wars. People are discussing it days later, the ratings were up in key demographics, all the parties involved get more attention (Jordin Sparks’ media profile has increased significantly, the Jonas Brothers got some headlines, so did Russell Brand), and this is the power of trolling. It’s a demonstration that the self-censorship in the US media of the last 7 years may not sell as well, or give as bigger buzz, as having diverse opinions represented in popular media outlets.  In publicity alone the MTV VMAs 2008 are a win.

The up-in-arms comments against Russell Brand on Internet forums have been retarded: So why pander to these people?  They want to tell you what to do – including what you can and can’t say.

On a lesser note some Twilight fans are completely mental.

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