banter

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The Independent is revamping their comments system in an attempt to minimise trolls, idiots, and troublemakers from derailing argument about important issues. I’ll discuss the article paragraph by paragraph, from the source article on The Independent website:

“Websites have been encouraging cowardice. They allow users to hide behind virtual anonymity to make hasty, ill-researched and often intemperate comments regardless of any consideration for personal hurt or corporate damage. “

I agree with this, to a point. Websites, particularly with post-hoc moderated user content, have given platforms for people to say and post all sorts of things. It is not in anyway a novel issue. It’s a fact of the internet since the days of Usenet trolls, spammers, and loons. People make stupid comments on the internet. Websites reflect this, whether they encourage it is another matter given it existed prior to newspaper article discussion forums.

“They may be fun to read, but all of us need to reconsider how they appeal to our baser instincts – and whether they actually threaten the future of free speech rather than prove a valuable demonstration of it.”

I agree with moderation. I think there are plenty of places where free speech shouldn’t apply, purely for practical reasons: The day Nature publishes A. Herbert’s natural proofs of why lizards did 9/11 or the day Little Johnny tells the headmaster to fuck-off, in the name of freedom of speech, will be sad days indeed. Review and moderation is often useful. I think it could improve many newspaper websites by stopping the usual ad hominem nonsense and weed out arseholes.

But questioning whether idiots on the comment section of a newspaper threaten free speech elevates them and is a gross exaggeration. Some people say stupid things. Ignore them or deal with them.  They don’t threaten freedom of speech, the reaction to them does.

“It has been hard to excuse the excesses in some of independent.co.uk’s comments. In trying to bring the immediacy of post-moderation, some posters’ closed minds and wilful neglect of commonsense (let alone decency) meant all too often that we ended up shutting articles to comments. Add to that the infuriating persistency of spammers and we can only thank the temperate, sensible and often still forceful posters who stuck with us. “

I don’t think anyone should defend idiots, but a by-product of freedom of speech, and the subjective nature of idiocy, means that on a medium such as the internet, you are going to encounter them. It’s how you deal with them that counts. I have some sympathy with the Independent’s position on closing comments because of Godfrey vs. Demon, and ramifications of English libel law.

“Such nuisances might have emanated from a minority, but their bigotry and offensiveness left a smell that lingered not only across all comments. It was starting to drift across the site.
We have been far from alone in suffering the worst excesses from the sort of people one would cross a very wide and busy road to avoid. As Leonard Pitts Jr observed on the Miami Herald: “Message boards? have become havens for a level of crudity, bigotry, meanness and plain nastiness that shocks the tattered remnants of our propriety.””

Christ, some of the abuse I’ve received via blogging would take their propriety and shove it up their bottoms (I said bottoms, rather than arse, out of a sense of propriety). Yet I continue. It never ceases to amaze what delicate flowers some people are about words. People will be getting upset with cartoons next.

The punchline follows:

“Now independent.co.uk is aiming to raise standards through increased accountability. We cannot justify giving a platform to those who abuse it; but we shall be proud to host for whom free speech is an asset to be respected – along with, to be honest, the well-judged flash of irony and humour.
So we have changed our logins to encourage comments from individuals or even official bodies using their Facebook or Twitter accounts – with other options for Yahoo or Open ID log-ins. There is also a Disqus option, where your account must be validated through your e-mail.”

Clear your internet cache, or open a new browser, and search for Google Mail. Sign up for a new account, and then use it to sign up for a Facebook or Twitter account. If you’re worried about an IP ban use Tor, or an open proxy. Voila, you’re more accountable and can express yourself with well judged flashes of irony and humour.

You can’t get around that. Not without chucking the baby out with the bathwater. The benefits outweigh the negatives. If you enforce strong identification on the Internet you lose whistle-blowers, people who would be fired (possibly unjustly) for views contrary to their employers, dissident movements in repressive states using things like twitter, or blogging, etc. etc. etc. This is why I favour user moderation and rating of comments/other users, alongside traditional moderation, rather than associating a sense of legitimacy with having an identity.

“(There are also other methods, by the way, with which we shall excise the idiocy of the spammers.)
The obligation to preserve free speech is as much on those who have the opportunity to spread it as on those who wish their voices to be heard. We have made our changes and now we encourage you to speak – forcefully and plainly, yes, but bearing in mind sense and sensibilities. (Our terms and conditions for postings explain how and why we seek such a balance.)

We hope this will flourish alongside our policy of post-moderation, which allows for immediacy and deeper involvement. But that is counter-balanced by the “flag” that alerts us to any abuse, with swift suspensions. “

I’ll reiterate that I see The Independent’s need for moderation in no way incompatible with free speech or pointless. What I find particularly galling is framing it in terms of obligations. Many inalienable rights are a bit contradictory; take for instance the contradictions inherent in UDHR articles 12, 18, 19. You do not have obligations to free speech, it’s (in theory) inalienable, not negotiable or up for debate. You have obligations to law. The Independent are not preserving free speech in their comments system. Free speech for a website like The Independent would be anarchy. The flag system is a good idea that has been used successfully elsewhere.

“Yelling obscenities at anyone with opposing views is not how best to draw a crowd, let alone win the argument or serve democracy.

If you are speaking up, then speak up proudly and with responsibility. Embrace this opportunity to come out from the cloak of anonymity. That’s for the cowards for whom “freedom of speech” is something to rant about rather than an expression to live by. With all its obligations.”

You do not have obligations for free speech, it is (or should be) an inalienable right. It is also quite right, as with debates, the legal system, and many other important aspects of civilisation for people to limit it where it is sensible to do so. It’s not a statement about freedom of speech, or about obligations for peons.   Associate a sense of legitimacy with a recognised identity for everyone and you’ll wind up with identity cards, like during the war.

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Limmy’s webcam

Because my health has been fucked recently, like the sad bastard I am, I have gotten into Twitter. Very good fun. It’s good because it’s less touchy feely and more information driven than other social networking sites. It is simply impossible to get someone talking about the minutiae of their breakfast for longer than 140 characters at a time. And there’s a huge, positive, degree of selection bias involved. Your experience is only as good as the people you choose to follow.

For me there have been two major plus points: One, keeping in touch with news and opinion through things like hashtags. While twitter is probably not entirely representative of in real life opinion, it’s still interesting and fairly diverse. Spam is easy to spot. Two, new stuff, recommendations. For instance I’ve found @Glinner‘s channel a must follow for funny stuff. He’s funny too. There’s such an abundance of stuff, and people out there, on the net, a lot of it’s annoying to go through, so having good filters for information is a major boon.

One of the recommendations from @Glinner‘s Twitter stream was Limmy’s Show (click to check out his website). Made by Brian Limond. Limmy. A TV comedy sketch  programme made in Scotland, available down south via iPlayer and BBC 2. It was consistently the best sketch show I’ve seen on television in a while. One bit that epitomised this, for me, was a scene where Mr Mulvaney (a silver haired company director who moonlights as a petty criminal) forms a plan to set off a fire alarm, including his alibi.

The scene is a modern office room with an open door. Mr Mulvaney finishes his dialogue, leaves the office, and walks down the hall to commit the crime, as he turns a corner the camera doesn’t follow him. You know what could be happening, but can’t see it.  Until the fire alarm sounds. So, obviously, for the ‘I’m not an idiot’ directing alone, I like it. Dee dee, Mr Mulvaney and Adventure Call, like much of the programme, were sublime and definitive. Buy it when it comes out on DVD.  Also, the BBC would be mad not to give us new episodes. I’m sure there’ll be bits on YouTube, if you’re in the US. There were so many good bits. I’d have to be at least 10% more of a tedious person to list them.

Limmy has a webcam. Which has a text chat room attached.  He sometimes rules it with an iron fist – specifically regarding grammar, all-caps (although Vaughn the bot has taken some of the burden) , and stupidity (no bot for that). It’s often very funny. He’s on Twitter and uses it. The webcam regularly gets hundreds of viewers (at any time of the day or night), and, as is apparent by the nature of the medium, he obviously gives a fuck about his fans. One of his regular sessions is a “Truth” session. So far he has covered the conspiracy behind how quickly teabags diffuse, (and a few more highly elaborate and intricate conspiracies) the BCOS system, and mammoth relaxation sessions with ambient techno that are comedic endurance feats.  It’s a bit of fun. It’s a man in front of a camera. Webcams can be so shit. His varies from merely OK to genius. He doesn’t get trolled easily, either.

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Actually, sod that. I was going to type this with my nose but was thwarted by it being very difficult to type with your nose (try yourself if you think it’s easy – or you’re a hypocrite), and a bad back. Hurts more than actually typing. This sentence is filler. And this sentence. The end.

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Peter Serafinowicz (@Serafinowicz) wrote on Twitter:

Hmm. I think EMI have taken my @hot_chip video down, the one I uploaded. Happening to anyone else?

And I wondered if EMI, or other record labels, are on a Elmer Fudd style Bugs Bunny search for copyright infringement. I thought it was a little funny. So I was going to tweet it.

Then, I thought to myself, that’s obvious. The Bugs Bunny comparison has degenerated into a template:

(A Sisyphean search for subjectively annoying things) is like (describe Bugs Bunny, or, fuck-it, Caddyshack).

So bollocks to that line of tweeting. And my back’s hurting like fuck, so bollocks to typing also.

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As I sit, on my arse, eating a sausage sandwich, the semi-rhetorical question occurs: Why do we have to have nutmeg in everything? It’s everywhere. Sausages. Cake. Fucking nutmeg. I hate nutmeg. I know it’s in a lot of Italian food. Yeah, I know it has traditionally been in some sausages. What do I mean WE? I include everyone who dislikes nutmeg and those unwilling to tolerate it elsewhere. It’d be unfair to include those who don’t like, or are not keen, on nutmeg but tolerate it anyway. And people who like nutmeg. Fuck it.

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I’ve had major problems writing anything, partly distractions, and a particularly bad back, but have kept snippets that I’ve rejected for being flawed or a bit stupid. I’ll stick them up with this caveat so I don’t get angry comments or feel my discomfort is unacknowledged. With rejection notes.

Superior smug internet atheist

I’m an atheist but I’m a self loathing, apathetic, (but wholly convinced) atheist [1]. In social situations I rarely bring up that I’m an atheist [2]. Not because I get problems from religious people, but because it often elicits a stream of boring shit about how stupid religious people are [3], and, further, how wonderful canonical atheist figures are. I don’t care about religion. I only care about it when it gets in the way of rational decision making, in government, or science, or other areas where rational decision making is generally to be encouraged [4].

But religious people? In my experience it’s not as black and white as ‘them and us’. [5] There are religious people in the middle ground between faith and reason [6]. I think it suits those who would like to divide people into neat compartments that religion is seen as all or nothing, or that someone being religious, or an atheist, precludes them from being an arsehole [7]. To wit we, all, every race, every human on the planet, are united by arseholes [8].

I’m not suggesting all judgemental people are cunts [9]. They are.

Rejection notes

[1] Who gives a fuck?
[2] Implies that it comes up often. It doesn’t. I’m more interested in nerd stuff like digital photo sensors or synthesizers than faith issues.
[3] Occasionally. Often enough that it’s annoying, but by no means a general case, don’t want to give religious twats ammunition against atheists.
[4] Implies that I think decisions based on faith are acceptable without drawing the distinction that adults can do what they want. I don’t care.
[5] It is, obviously, matter of atheists and religious people.
[6] Do I mean middle ground or not arseholes? Middle ground is a weasel term.
[7] I’d like to teach the world to sing … twattery.
[8] True that.
[9] I am.

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Insert Content Here

Bash away, like an impotent wank, see what comes out; try to spit paragraphs. Wanky, pretentious as fuck, periphrasis, all wordy, and circular. Round. Firstly – you and I are are sentient, sitting on a chair, in front of a screen, with a mouse in hand. Or not. Maybe, using a mobile device. Or laptop. Warming your lap. (insert cattop joke). Whatever, we’re looking at a screen. We have that in common.

Secondly, you could be a search engine robot. Which would mean the entire last paragraph would be wasted. Crawling web pages; extracting links; weighted contextual databases, and you, along with Tesco, with your plans. I’ve got more self awareness than you (the robots, not you, the meaty reader, obviously, that would be overly presumptuous). Apologies (not to the robots) for calling out the robots on their lack of self awareness. It’s just in case.

Thirdly, there is no third paragraph, so go fuck yourself. I’m knackered.

Kind of stuck on the fourth.

Nope. It’s not irony if you say so.

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The word cusp is an anagram of cups and I like cups, because, like all Englishmen, I like tea. I think I have become partially immune to bollocks. The internet is a sea of information, awash with bollocks. Swimming in it virtually guarantees exposure to bollocks in the form of stupid health information, get rich quick schemes, dubious claims, and self appointed experts. The internet has made being sceptical a sensible default position.

When politicians, or companies, or anyone, makes a statement of an important nature, I am sufficiently handy enough with a search engine that I can gain a superficial overview of the subject. Enough to find it far more complicated than headlines would suggest. Furthermore, as the cape wearing Dr Ben Goldacre has pointed out in the past, often there are subject experts, online, blogging in their own time.

Then there’s opinion. This is opinion. Could be bollocks. It’s the internet. Opinion is available everywhere, for free. So when I see opinion pieces on the television or in newspapers it seems no better or worse than a lot of the opinions on the internet. When I read Jeremy Clarkson I often think to myself, “go on Clarkson, say something stupid”, as if watching an amusing troll annoy people on a forum.

I started out, three paragraphs ago, thinking about some five or six paragraphs followed by some point, but I don’t think there is one. I don’t know if the internet will lead to more sceptical people. Probably across the world there are

  • People shoving acai berries up their arse in the hope of getting slim
  • People joining free lottos
  • People sending money to the sons of kings
  • People buying into extraterrestrial UFOs
  • People defending Glenn Beck
  • People being spiritual
  • People being truthers
  • Etc. (it’d be a long and boring list)

The fact is everything is about ten times more complicated than we usually think, there are countless stupid or ignorant or batshit insane people. But, fundamentally speaking (the kind that involves believing in evolution etc), we’re on a planet that probably occurred by chance, there is no god, we’re all going to die, including the universe (albeit on a different timescale).

By fuck I love Sugar Puffs!!!

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There is a very silly American show called Deadliest Warrior.  It compares historical fighters by exploring what their weapons are capable of and  fighting technique.  It’s fun stuff.  Blowing stuff up, chopping stuff up, and testing weapons.  A recent episode explored a fictional Shaka Zulu vs William Wallace scenario.  It culminates with a computer model battle to decide the outcome.  It’s got a veneer of scienciness and a narrator who probably smokes to keep husky.

Problems: There seems to be little no reference to environment.  The first thing I thought when I saw the title of the show was “in what environment?”.   It’s important. Styles of combat are as much affected by geography and logistics as many human endeavours.

How long would William Wallace be able to wield a claymore in South African heat?  How long would someone in traditional Zulu dress cope with Scottish weather? Further to that how are a given warrior’s tactics adjusted to the environment they live in?  What did the warrior do the day before?  Could have marched miles because of inferior strategy.

Superior weapons are a huge part of it.  But to assume inferiority solely on the basis of inferior weapons seems a bit, well, retarded.  Most successful armies, and warriors, have great logistics.  But logistics is boring.  Then there’s strategy and tactics.  Less boring, but complicated.  There’s so many factors involved that would determine something seemingly simple like a one-on-one fight.

Deadliest Warrior is a late night conversation between drunk stereotypical beer advert blokes.  “In a highly unlikely, ideal environment for both sets of combatants, fighting fit, in a one-on-one fight, who would win between He-Man and Lion-O?” without the caveats or references to cartoons.  Essentially comparing deadly warriors (in their environment) in a fictional environment.  It’s like Japanese bug fights.

I still kind of like Deadliest Warrior but then I like a lot of nonsense.  I don’t begrudge the show.  Just people who view it as anything other than entertainment.

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I’m watching a mind-fuck via the BBC called “Blood, Sweat, and Takeaways” (it’s on iPlayer). It’s the televisual equivalent of slumming it. Six typical young people are taken to work in developing countries – to work in factories and occupations that sell to the west. First problem is the typical people chosen as the subjects for the show, are naïve, loud, and rude. I’m all for that. Provided it’s funny. It’s not. They’re English Borats. Maybe it’d be funny if I wasn’t English.

I somewhat hope they’ll be mugged. But whatever I hope has no bearing on the subject. To think otherwise is magic thinking, and you’ll go to hell for magic thinking. I know, in theory, the show is good: giving people that don’t read, and have no imagination, an idea of what global consumerism means for people. But in reality it’s just another reality show.

About a bunch of typical people, that apply for a show, are pre-screened, pre-approved, in a fish out of water scenario, acting like twats.

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